spm results

Today is the big day. Got my spm results. Can't say i'm unhappy with it cause that'd be really ungrateful of me but i was just hoping i could get one more A+ for the full scholarship. Here's my results.

Doesn't look too bad right?

Unfortunately, it is quite sad for me because i just need 1 more A+ to get full scholarship. And the worst part is that i got A for English. Really upset about it because i got 1A for my 1119 and only A for spm. I was a bit upset about it but was still grateful for my results.

However, someone i call my dad thought otherwise. Moments after i came home, instead of getting any words of congratulation or encouragement like many others would with my results, i only got blames and scoldings. And from that moment onwards, my day was ruined. It's bad enough that i feel terrible about my results, i had to come home listening to him scolding me for going out with friends to shopping malls and not reading at home last time. And i could not believe (okay, maybe i could) how my father was so inconsiderate and ungrateful. 

I understand how this means that he has to spend more money on me but this isn't the way i should be treated. I am totally okay with him not congratulating me or even consoling me, never expected him to do that. But the least i could expect was no scoldings. All these years i have feared my results for national examinations like UPSR, PMR and SPM not only because it may affect my education future and maybe a bit of 'face', it is also because if my results are not up to his standards (straight A's), i know i would receive naggings and scoldings very frequently in the future, especially if i want to hang out with friends or be active in my extra curricular activities. And THAT is just so annoying.

I believe that I live a very miserable life because of him and I really am so sick of it. I am so tired of living like that and just plain tired of him. And truthfully, he likes to brag to others regarding my results (which are actually not that great) and have high expectations on me. However, i really despise these expectations because once you start doing well in something, they expect you to do well in it in the future. And these expectations can be really stressful. I'd rather just stay low profile.

The conclusion is, i had a great time meeting up with old friends today but an extremely horrible time at home. People say home sweet home, but mine is a very bitter home. 

Ps: congratulations to everyone who did well for spm :)